It Looked Different on the Model: Epic Tales of Impending Shame and Infamy
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, July 2011. World English.
Germany: Blanvalet.
Books available.
#1 New York Times bestseller
Everyone’s favorite Idiot Girl, Laurie Notaro, is just trying to find the right fit, whether it’s the gorgeous blouse that looks so perfect on the mannequin (and not on her) or with her new hometown: the ultra-liberal enclave of Eugene, Oregon. In this hilarious collection of stranger-in-a-strange-land tales, Notaro makes misstep after comic misstep as she tries (and fails) to impress her new neighbors—carelessly whipping up butter cream cupcakes for the local vegan kids, being banned from the post office for abusing her two-cent stamp privileges, and getting blacklisted from the annual neighborhood holiday party after a piss-poor rendition of “Jingle Bells.” There are also sidesplitting stories on marriage and family, such the dog bark translator that ends up translating Notaro’s and her husband’s own “woofs” and “arfs” with remarkable accuracy; the emails from her mother with FWD in the subject line (“which in email code means Forewarning World Destruction”); and the late-night online-shopping sprees and Devil Dog-eating antics of a creature known as “Ambien Laurie.”
“Trying to fit in--sometimes literally--can be daunting, but Notaro's attempts are hilariously captured in this collection…Notaro's humor is self-deprecating without ever swaying into self-pity, and her situations are both specific and universal.”—Publishers Weekly
“…wait half an hour after eating, lest you literally bust a gut laughing.”—BookPage
“Notaro’s…gracious, self-deprecating and blessed with the gift of great humorists: She takes the quotidian moments that pass the rest of us by and makes them milk-snorted-out-the-nostrils funny.”—People Magazine, 4 out of 4 Stars
Laurie Notaro’s bio:
Fans of David Sedaris, Susan Jane Gilman and Jen Lancaster love Laurie Notaro. Laurie Notaro is the author of the New York Times bestseller Idiot Girl’s Action Adventure Club. Laurie Notaro was born in Brooklyn, New York, and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. She packed her bags for Eugene, Oregon, once she realized that since she was past thirty, her mother could no longer report her as a teenage runaway. She is currently at work on a plan B (to take effect when her book contract runs out), which includes selling hot dogs at Costco, selling hot dogs from a street cart, selling hot dogs at high school football games, or being the stop sign holder for road construction crews. At press time, she is still married, and she has an adorably disobedient dog that wears sweaters and loves chicken strips. (Clearly, Notaro has no children.) Her website is www.laurienotaro.com.
Also by Laurie Notaro:
The Idiot Girls’ Action Adventure Club
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, July 2002. World English.
Germany: Luebbe. Italy: Piemme. Turkey: POZTIF. Poland: Wydawnictwo Literackie.
Books available.
A New York Times Bestseller
This collection of columns, originally written for the Arizona Republic, details Notaro's daring exploits and comical mishaps as she matures from wild teenager to disheveled adult. Her vignettes are humorous if unoriginal. "The Useless Black Bra and the Stinkin'-drunk Twelve-step Program" is a classic drinking story, complete with the lost friend who is eventually found in a neighbor's front yard wearing only a bra. This hard-drinking, chain-smoking approach to partying inevitably leads to some punishing hangovers; in one extreme case, Notaro is mistaken for a homeless person while en route to jury duty in "Going Courtin'." Not surprisingly, disregard for her appearance diminishes her chances of fulfilling her mother's dream and bringing home from the trial a "balding, sexually repressed twenty-seven-year-old attorney strangled in a Perry Ellis necktie." Notaro's QVC-addicted mother is predictably in opposition to and embarrassed by her daughter's bad-girl antics. In "Waking Angela Up," Notaro compares herself to Janeane Garofalo, and there indeed are clear similarities in the blunt self-deprecation that fuels both women's humor. Notaro, however, lacks the biting originality of her more famous counterpart. In "This Is a Public Service Announcement," Notaro rails against public restroom users, including "the hoverer" and "the talker." Her existing fans will agree with these sentiments, while new readers might simply shrug, thinking, "Who doesn't hate those characters?"
“This is a great, funny read that women will love. Recommended for most humor collections.”—Library Journal
Autobiography of a Fat Bride
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, July 2003. World English.
Germany: Luebbe. Italy: Piemme. Turkey: POZTIF. Poland: Wydawnictwo Literackie.
Books available.
Notaro (The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club) opens with enough dumped-by-loser-boyfriend stories that readers will share her skepticism when Good Guy finally appears. "He was an endangered species," Notaro writes. "[T]he only thing that could make him more valuable was if he were albino." Since Notaro can't keep Good Guy drunk and clueless forever, she switches to Plan B: frying cutlets, her major life skill. It works, and soon enough they're happily married. If this sounds mature and responsible, guess again. Other people might be able to buy a house, babysit their nephew, buy a new bra or seed their lawn without it being the least bit funny, but not Notaro. Consider the time she and her husband got a new puppy so untrainable it ate from the kitty litter box. Watching her husband get down on all fours and growl like a dog to show kitty who's in charge, Notaro comments, "Well, then, I'm not going to bother making dinner.... The cat just had a bowel movement big enough for the both of you." True, there's a lot of bathroom humor, but it's Notaro's odd take on the ordinary that's funniest. "H&R Block is really Practice Prison," a taste of what tax evaders can expect. Her sister using a breast pump looks like "a hybrid of Barbarella and a Holstein." And who else but Notaro can whisper to her (unwanted) cat as she crates him up for a trip to the vet: "if you see a bright, white light, run toward it"?
“Notaro tackles them all with the inimitable, acerbic wit and ruthless, self-deprecating candor that have deservedly earned her legions of loyal fans.”—Booklist
I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies)
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, June 2004. World English.
Germany: Luebbe.
Books available.
Television Rights: Optioned by ABC Studios, based on an original script written by Notaro, with TAGLINE (Psych) producing.
Fans of Notaro's chronicles of the idiosyncrasies of her life as a 20-something (The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club) and new wife (Autobiography of a Fat Bride) will cheer the arrival of this collection of all-new material updating them on the meticulously analyzed exploits of Notaro's mid-30s. Among these navel-gazing essays are the story of how, one day when Notaro had a cold, she blew bubbles out her nose upon meeting a new boss; a repetitive whine about the specific types of spam e-mail her sister sends her; details of her passing of some kidney stones; and even quotations from a "sucky" review of one of her books from Kirkus Reviews.—Publishers Weekly
“[Notaro] may be the funniest writer in this solar system.”—The Miami Herald
We Thought You Would Be Prettier
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, April 2005. World English.
Germany: Luebbe.
Books available.
She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking.
Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.
"(Notaro) expands her worldview to include the full panoply of life's indignities. The result is screamingly funny."—USA Today
"Hilarious...(Notaro) is Dave Barry with ovaries, filing bizarre and frequently humiliating reports on Life on the Goofy Side."—The Miami Herald
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, November 2005. World English.
Germany: Lubbe-Verlagsgruppe. Italy: Piemme.
Books available.
In ten brand-new stories and three previously published favorites, Notaro shares the sidesplitting daily disasters of the holidays, like finding herself on emergency feminine product recon at midnight on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable Horrible Gift Parade by simply asking for holiday dish towels and giant white underpants from Sears; battling the morons in line at the Seventh Circle of Hell, otherwise known as the do-it-yourself craft store; and trying to live down her reputation as the Most Unfun Christmas Party Guest Ever, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a fake overdose and emergency paramedics.
“Fans of David Sedaris's Holidays on Ice will find this worth a look.”—Publishers Weekly
Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death:
Reflections on Revenge, Germophobia, and Laser Hair Removal
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, June 2008. World English.
Germany: Lubbe-Verlagsgruppe. Turkey: POZTIF.
Books available.
Join Notaro as she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes and in similarly congested areas; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired–resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door.
“With plenty of humorous insight into the everyday debacles of an average gal from Arizona, these entertaining essays should make satisfying, bite-sized beach reading.”—Publishers Weekly
Potty Mouth at the Table
Agent: Jenny Bent
Gallery Books, May 2013. World English.
Books available.
From the celebrated author best known for the Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club and described as “the funniest writer in the solar system” (The Miami Herald) comes a new laugh-out-loud collection of essays on rudeness.
Laurie Notaro thinks everyone’s nuts. Or maybe there’s just something wrong with her. Here, she examines the basic human condition of rudeness—other people’s rudeness, that is—in her latest uproariously funny collection. In her trademark irreverent style, she uses her biting wit to cover other people’s bad behavior ranging from bathroom etiquette (interpreting a coworker’s failure to wash her hands after leaving the bathroom as a personal affront) to dinner party conundrums (did he really just pick food off of my plate?). Laurie recounts in detail such unfortunate situations as discovering that she wasn't on the viewable Facebook invite list for a good friend’s party, or standing behind a woman in the pharmacy line who says to the clerk, “Hi. I was wondering if you could tell me what a staph infection looks like?” and proceeds to embark on a fifteen-minute conversation that includes sentences like, “Infection can burrow.”
So if you’ve ever found yourself wondering if the person seated next to you on the plane is being earnest when he tells the stewardess he will handle the emergency door in the event of a crash landing or spotted a chunk of something that could be chocolate under your keyboard and desperately wanted to eat it, then this collection of sometimes bizarre and always entertaining observations is for you.
“[V]ery, very funny…Entertaining beach reading for fans of humorous, breezy essays.”—Kirkus Reviews
"Notaro is sharp, relatable, and pithy; a dynamic combination."—Publishers Weekly
"[S]mart and witty...Essay to essay, her unpredictability will keep readers enthralled and entertained. She even saves the best surprise for last. If you're reading in public, be prepared to answer the question: 'What's so funny?' " –Jen Forbus, Jen's Book Thoughts
"New York Times bestselling author Laurie Notaro—rightfully hailed as “the funniest writer in the solar system” (The Miami Herald)—spares nothing and no one, least of all herself, in this uproarious new collection of essays on rudeness. With the sardonic, self-deprecating wit that makes us all feel a little better about ourselves for identifying with her...The Potty Mouth at the Table is whip-smart, unpredictable, and hilarious. In other words, irresistibly Laurie."—Bookhounds
There’s A (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell:
A Novel of Sewer Pipes, Pageant Queens, and Big Trouble
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, May 2007. World English.
Germany: Lubbe-Verlagsgruppe. Turkey: POZTIF.
Books available.
The first novel from the New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club is a rollicking tale of small-town peculiarity, dark secrets, and one extraordinary beauty pageant. When her husband is offered a post at a small university, Maye is only too happy to pack up and leave the relentless Phoenix heat for the lush green quietude of Spaulding, Washington. After a series of false starts nearly gets her exiled from town, Maye decides that her last chance to connect with her new neighbors is to enter the annual Sewer Pipe Queen Pageant, a kooky but dead-serious local tradition open to contestants of all ages and genders. Aided by a deranged former pageant queen with one eyebrow, Maye doesn’t just make a splash, she uncovers a sinister mystery that has haunted the town for decades.
“Fans of humorist Notaro will certainly want to pick up her first try at fiction. Readers unfamiliar with her earlier essay collections, e.g., Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club and Autobiography of a Fat Bride, should prepare to laugh loudly and often at her irreverent observations and depictions of life's embarrassing moments.”—Library Journal
Spooky Little Girl
Agent: Jenny Bent
Random House, Spring 2010. World English.
Germany: Blanvalet.
Books available.
The brilliantly funny New York Times bestselling author, Laurie Notaro, returns with the hilarious tale of a woman who, only after her death, starts to really live. Coming home from a Hawaiian vacation with her best girlfriends, Lucy Fisher is stunned to find everything she owns on the front lawn, the locks changed, her fiancé’s phone disconnected, and she’s lost her job. With her world spinning wildly out of her control, and few places to turn, she moves out-of-state to live with her sister, a single mother, and make a new start. Things take an even more dramatic turn when, on her way to a job interview, Lucy’s flattened by a city bus. She wakes up not in the hereafter, but the nearly hereafter—a Ghost School designed to prepare the dearly (and suddenly) departed for eternity and teach the necessary skills for being a spirit. Lucy’s first homework assignment is to return home to see how her friends and fiancé have moved on, only none of them are even aware that Lucy has died. She’s determined to tie up the loose ends of her life and let her loved ones know that she didn’t simply disappear and turn her back on them, but urgent matters on the spectral plane—like her soon-to-be-exorcised grandmother—need her attention and Lucy realizes that dying isn’t as easy as they say.
“Puts a creepy twist on a humorous tale.”—Minneapolis Star Tribune
