Celia Riverbank: Rude Bitches Make Me Tired

Celia Rivenbark’ın RUDE BITCHES MAKE ME TIRED iki haftadır Southern Indie Bestseller listesinde

 Trade Paperback Nonfiction'da yerini koruyor. Eserle ilgilenen yayıncılarımıza duyurulur.  

Rude Bitches Make Me Tired:

Navigating Modern Manners in Complicated Times  

Agent: Jenny Bent

St. Martin's Griffin, October 2013. World English.

Manuscript available.

Celia Rivenbark's seventh book  is an always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for real-life manners quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: It doesn't include tattoos or truck decals with chalk outline tombstones). Good manners have never been this much fun!

“Southern humorist Rivenbark applies her trademark wit to answering modern-day dilemmas of etiquette in what is decidedly not your mama's etiquette guide…As usual, her comments are infused with a Southern flair…Fans of Rivenbark's biting humor will not be disappointed with this latest offering.” – Publisher’s Weekly

Celia Rivenbark’s Bio:

Celia Rivenbark is the NYT bestselling author of the award-winning bestsellers Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank, We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp.  She lives in Wilmington, North Carolina.  Visit www.celiarivenbark.com.

“Think Dave Barry with a Female Point of View” – USA Today

Also by Celia Rivenbark:

Bless Your Heart, Tramp

And Other Southern Endearments

Agent: Jenny Bent

St. Martin's Griffin, May 2000. World English.

Books available.

Step into the wacky world of "womanless wedding" fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else.

Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern---and just plain human---foibles, up-close and personal.

"Bright, witty, and warm." -- St. Petersburg Times

"Hilarious---and right on the money." --The Charlotte Observer

We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier

Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle

Agent: Jenny Bent

St. Martin's Griffin, January 2005. World English.

Books available.

Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes. What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in their pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again. What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on.

In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling novel Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the South she loves, the land of "Mama and them," "precious and dahlin'," and mommies who mow. Y'all come back now, you hear?

                                      

“Rivenbark is a hoot, and her book will be best enjoyed while listening to the Allman Brothers Band and eating ‘a plate of, what else? collards and cornbread..’" –Publishers Weekly

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank

A Slightly Tarnished Southern Belle's Words of Wisdom

Agent: Jenny Bent

St. Martin's Griffin, September 2007. World English.

Books available.

Celia Rivenbark is an intrepid explorer and acid commentator on the land south of the Mason-Dixon Line. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you’ll discover:

*How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disney World (or run the risk of eating chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy)*Secrets of Celebrity Moms (don’t hate them because they’re beautiful when there are so many other reasons)*ebay addiction and why “It ain’t worth having if it ain’t on ebay”*Why today’s children’s clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls with an abundance of anger issues*And so much more! 

Celia Rivenbark’s essays about life in today’s South are like caramel popcorn---sweet, salty, and utterly irresistible.

“This is a hilarious read, perhaps best enjoyed while eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts with a few girlfriends.”—Publishers Weekly

“She kills in the “Kids” and “Southern-Style Silliness” sections, putting the fear of Mickey into anyone planning a trip to Disney World (character breakfasts must be scheduled 90 days in advance) and extolling the entertainment value of obituaries (“If there’s a nickname in quotes, say Red Eye, Tip Top, or simply, Zeke, then my entire day is made”

 — Entertainment Weekly

Belle Weather

Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits

Agent: Jenny Bent

St. Martin's Griffin, August 2008. World English.

Books available.

Hang on to your hats!  We’re in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark.  

With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you’ll hear from Celia on--the joys of remodeling Tara --How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew --Britney’s To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up--How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day -- Why French women suck at competitive eating-- The truth about nature deficit disorder-- The difference between cockroaches and water bugs-- The beauty of Bedazzlers…And much, much more!

Whether she’s doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna’s mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing until the very last page.

"Readers will laugh out loud... so sit a spell and enjoy a rollicking, fun ride with the musings of one of the funniest of southern writers, one who appeals to the 'belle' in all of us." – Booklist

You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Morning

Surviving the South with Sweet Tea-Flavored Vodka, Chicken Salad, and Jesus

Agent: Jenny Bent

St. Martin's Griffin, January 2005. World English.

Books available.

From the author of the bestselling classics We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you’ll shoot co’cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as-- Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate-- How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life-- Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering-- Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that?-- Get yer Wassail on: It’s carolin’ time-- Airlines serving up one hot mess-- Action figure Jesus-- Why Clay Aiken ain’t marrying your glandular daughter-- And much more! Complete with a treasure trove of Celia’s genuine southern recipes, You Can’t Drink All Day if You Don’t Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.

You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl

Observations on Life from the Shallow End of the Pool

Agent: Jenny Bent

St. Martin's Griffin, August 2011. World English.

Books available.

Debuted #31 New York Times Bestseller List

With her trademark style of Southern snark and sass, Celia channels her inner Betty Draper and shares her thoughts on everything from terrorists to Twitter to “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” This one is guaranteed to make you laugh hard enough to split your yoga pants.

“In this new addition to her essay collection catalogue, she's as rebellious, irreverent, and comical as ever. The author's signature blend of social satire, quizzical musings on human nature, and over-the-top down-home humor are directed at everything from Bernie Madoff to Snuggies to people who (slowly) write (Disney character–embellished) checks even when they're in an exceptionally long line at Wal-Mart.” –Publisher’s Weekly